Use duct tape and glue to wax body hair
*posts a picture of some bread*
I BET YOU AMERICAN JACKFUCKS DON’T HAVE THIS. IT’S CALLED WHEATBLUMPS AND YOU’RE ALL MORONS FOR NEVER HAVING EATEN IT.
banksy inspired resturant
- cashier: welcome to McImperialism how may i deliver our "food" to you
- customer: yeah hi uh i'll have the... "This Chicken Was Breed In A Lab And Is Unnatural" sandwich with a side of "These Are Made Of Sawdust" Fries and a "This Drink Is Not Actual Diet And Is Damaging Your Teeth" cola
- cashier: would you like bbq, ketch or our "Frowny" sauce?
- customer: what's in the frowny sauce
- cashier: my script says "Video Games Are Desensitizing Children To Violence" but i think it's like ranch and ketchup
Off he goes.
Farewell.
when u dont know the answers for a test
tumblr psa: dont use ouija boards!!! you never know what kind of spirits you’re inviting into your life
me: nice try but none of u can stop me from using this glow in the dark hasbro piece of garbage 2 ask oscar wilde for fashion advice
my advice: do not fuck with the spirit world, don’t take it lightly, you’re young and naive and completely unaware of how any of it works. This is one thing you don’t want to find out you were wrong about the hard way.
well thats all very nice and weirdly condescending but i just spirit-skyped jane austen & she says you’re a fucking square
Top 3 phrases that’ll create sexual tension
- “Make me”,
- “oh really”,
- “is that so”
“prove it”
“What’s in it for me?”
“Wanna bet?”
“Scared, Potter?”
“can you feel it mr krabs?”
“turn to page 394″
The signs and who kills them
- Aries: a gemini, possibly in cahoots with a scorpio
- Taurus: a scorpio
- Gemini: immortal
- Cancer: a capricorn
- Leo: a capricorn
- Virgo: an aquarius
- Libra: a capricorn
- Scorpio: a libra
- Sagittarius: a capricorn
- Capricorn: cannot be killed
- Aquarius: a virgo
- Pisces: an aquarius